muffin_goddess (muffin_goddess) wrote,

long time no type...

wow... s'been a while.
a very long while.
i doubt anyone even reads this anymore.... but nevertheless... i'm in a typing mood...

so what's new with me?

i'm a mom... to Kiernan Gabriel Varns. he's 3 months old today.
I'm a fiance to Evan Paul Varns, Jr.
i'm on MFIP(cash assistance/foodstamps)
living in st. paul.
neither of us are working... but we're both in school. Neither of us will graduate highschool until next year, though, and both of us are going to summer school.
Our living situation is pretty fucky at the moment. should fix soon... but i've been saying that for a while. i think i mean it now.

i looked back on this journal... skimmed over all my entries... remembered things... looked at myself then, and now. i want to say i'm a different person. and in a lot of ways i am. but in a lot of ways i'm still the same, and not neccesarily in good ways. i still hurt people i love... rather, the one i love the most(not counting kiernan). but he loves me enough to stay anyways. it does hurt, it does matter, but we couldn't live without each other, and we owe kiernan good parents.

i wish i knew WHY i was like this though. i'm so hateful and critical and picky and unappreciative. and for what... i feel sick.
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